Are You In A Mule-Relationship?
[Are You In A Mule-Love Relationship?]
So a few weeks ago I got on a call with a friend to talk about business and life.
He started telling me about his relationship and how great it is. As a writer, my "research" is to listen deeply and see the grey areas of what people are actually talking about, so I asked about what makes this relationship great, but I was not ready for what I heard.
"She got a family member a job, she solved issues between me and my family, she helps with my business. She's great"
I was waiting for the: she's also a wonderful person, she loves art, she is deep, she is kind...it never happened.
What this man was really saying was: he found a useful mule and she is happily being a mule because well it got her accepted, as though being just herself would not get her love.
Most times people talk to me about love, what they are actually talking about is mule-relationships (both-ways). They brag about how they found a free assistant, or someone with enough lack of self love that they'd turn themselves into "useful mules" because "loved human" takes a whole lot.
Now, I would like to talk to you ladies, get close to the screen:
YOU ARE NOT A MULE.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE USEFUL TO BE LOVED
BEING LOVED AND BEING USEFUL ARE TWO DIFFERENT ITEMS
DO NOT CHOOSE JOBS FOR YOURSELF NOBODY ASSIGNED TO YOU
DO NOT COVER LACK OF SELF LOVE WITH MULE-USEFULNESS
Because the truth is, ladies, fast forward 20 years from now, when your mule powers are gone, you will be disposable, and do not blame anyone for that but yourself because out of all the versions of relationships available to you, that is what you signed up for.
Love and convenience are two different things, choose what you think you deserve and you'll get what you settle for.
And dear men: we need to talk, but in a different post, this one was for my ladies.
Love Thy Self guys.